Throwing myself a pitty party...

Caution: Don't read this post unless you want to read my poor picked on me whinefest.

Here is the deal, I feel guilty for even writing this, but maybe writing will help me get out of my slump. There are so many less fortunate around me and yet I am still sitting and feeling sorry for myself.

So maybe this is my midlife crisis, or maybe I'm just being a scrooge this year. Brian has been out of work for almost a year now come February. He is working part time but even with me working full time, the bills just are being met. I'm getting to the point where I don't know how much more of this I can take. If Grandma Grosland was here, she would just tell me, "And this too shall Pass". I know it will, and I know I won't be given anything I can't handle.

Like a lot of people right now we have been without Medical Insurance. Just in this last week McKadie almost busted open her head, and then the next day Hunter slipped and fell and Brian took him the ER, we thought he broke his arm, thank heavens it was just a bad sprain, but I am still not looking forward to the bill that is surely coming our way.

On top of that I am concerned that I am showing signs of becoming diabetic. I haven't been feeling well at all for the last couple of months and it's been all I can do to pull myself out of bed every day. I know the steps that need to be taken to keep this from happening, but with the financial stresses, work, not feeling like I am fulfilling all of my responsibilities and obligations, and then there is the whole I'm fat poor me so fat issue...I am having a really hard time pulling myself out of this depression.

I so badly want to provide a memorable Christmas for my kids, but I just can't pull myself out of this funk. I don't know how I am going to be able to pull it off, and I'm trying to have the faith I need to keep the kids from feeling my downer mood.

So why oh why can't I get into the Christmas spirit? I have been surrounded by so many examples and people that are less fortunate than me, and are dealing with much more serious issues than I am...so I guess I should be awaiting my ghosts of Christmas, past, present and future.

I am sorry for this dreadful post and my scrooge attitude. I promise the next one will be upbeat and chipper.