The Big Plan for My Kids (Very Lengthy and Detailed)

So we have been having some disciplining problems here at the Gillman household. It has been causing Brian and I extreme stress and emotional worries. It felt like we were loosing grip with one of our children and were trying desperately to help that child but didn't know how.

So after much prayer and thought I came up with some ideas that have seemed to be working extremely well for the last 2 days so far.

One of the problems we found was that when we gave the kids chores they were only being done halfway and with much whining and complaining. So I was trying to figure out how to tackle this problem. I made up a chore list, similar to what I always do, but did it on a spreadsheet so that I can change it as necessary and print a new one each month.

To break down how the chore chart works if you have any questions or want me to email you a PDF version of any of this then please email me at tashinagillman@gmail.com.

I wrote a list of the chores that I give to the kids, then I entered them into the spreadsheet.

Across the top rows I put Sadie's name first and then the days of the week from Sunday to Saturday. Under Sadie's name I put the list of chores. For our family they are Bedroom, Hallways, Garbage's, Kitchen, Downstairs Living room, Upstairs Living Room, Downstairs bathroom, Upstairs bathroom, Laundry room, Dogs, and Homework. I put them in this order. Then I put a row between the last Chore and Hunter's name and did the same thing with the days of the week and the list of chores.

Each kid has to do take care of their bedroom daily. The other chores I alternate every other day between the kids. For instance on Monday Sadie has her bedroom, garbage's, downstairs living room, downstairs bathroom, laundry room, and his homework. That same day Hunter has his bedroom, hallways, Kitchen, upstairs living room, upstairs bathroom, dogs and homework. Then on Tuesday they would alternate.

Because of the issue we were having with chores being incomplete and the kids whining and not wanting to help out we had to come up with an incentive program, and a guide for them to follow so that they knew what was expected for each chore.

To approach these issues we proceeded as follows. By the way I haven't mentioned this before but we took a 3 ring binder and for the cover it says Gillman Family Plan Manual and has a picture of my kids on it. The first 4 pages are the assigned chores, 1 page for each week of the month. There are 8 pages after the chore assignments, each having a detailed list of what is expected of that chore.

For instance for bedroom cleaning looks like this:

If this seems a little too strict, sorry, but we feel a 10 year old and an 8 year old are plenty old enough to help around the house and have an expectation of doing the job right. Brian and I were both raised to work hard and to do the job right the first time. We are just trying to embrace these same principles with our children. We want them to value and honour themselves and those around them. We want them to know who they are, Children of God.

So with the jobs that they are given, they have full availability to the folder so that if they are not sure they can look it up. We encourage them to do so. When this was put in order yesterday, we sat around the kitchen table and had a family counsel. We worked as a family to think of how to handle this and what would be best. So it was determined that once they felt that there chores had been done right they needed to come and get mom or dad and we would go with them to check over their chores. We go through the list with them and help them understand that by using the folder it will help them remember the items they are forgetting. This is when we award the star, check or dash marks.

If the chore was done correctly the first time then they would receive a star in the box for that day. If it took 2 times than they would receive a check mark. If it took 3 times then they would receive a dash. If it took 4 times than they would get a frowny face in the box. We determined that 3 check marks was equal to 1 star, and that 6 dashes were equal to 1 star. This way the check marks and the dashes wouldn't be a punishment but they wouldn't earn stars as quickly had they done the job the right way the first time.

To go with the chore charts we have a list of how many stars it takes to earn a reward. We asked the kids what rewards they would like and then we added a bunch ourselves. Saturday is the set reward day so that is when stars will be tallied and they can choose what their reward will be or save up their stars to use at a later time.

Along with the regular chore chart, each of the chickadees' has their own personal responsibilities like brushing their teeth in the morning, brushing their teeth at night, reading their scriptures, etc... For each of these that are completed they get a star.

We have also encouraged the children to set a goal for themselves for each week. It could be anything that they wanted from their chores, to their grades, to the way they talk to others, etc. If they feel they are successful at the end of the week then they receive an extra 10 stars.

I am sure that you have wondered what the homework thing is since it is summer vacation. My sister-in-law had mentioned that there were websites where you could download homework sheets. I couldn't find the one that she had used but I found an excellent source at http://www.tlsbooks.com/. There is so much wonderful information on there you have to check it out.

We told Sadie and Hunter that each day they will have a math sheet, a history sheet/English sheet, and a list of spelling words for each week. On Friday they will have a spelling test and they get 1 star for every word they spell right. As you can see we are offering them as many opportunities as available to earn stars so that they can use their rewards. Depending on how much homework is done will determine how many stars they receive. As you can tell we are still working on some of the details.

It is proven that without stimulation kids lose a lot of the information they have gained the previous school year during the summer break. So I am encouraging my kids to keep on going, plus we had some homework issues last year; ie: things not being handed to me, things not being turned into the teacher etc. So I want them to get used to doing the homework and then turning it in. Below you can see what I put in the folder for them to work with.

Along with the homework we also decided as a family that there will be no TV during the summer. Instead of sitting around on their behinds I want them doing something to either exercise their brains or exercise their bodies. So along with the elementary school I want to encourage the kids to read as much as they can. Now this isn't required reading, but encouraged reading. They do have to read at least 20 to 30 minutes a day, but anything more than that is up to them. Thankfully, all three of my kids love to read.

So with the reading they have the potential to earn a load of stars. The deal is that after they are finished reading an approved book, either from the list

Or a book that mom or dad have approved, they have to type a one page, double spaced, book report and answer a list of questions. Too much, no, it's not, not when they go by the guidelines. Plus, another thing when my kids are reading books is that they tend to skip pages, the book report is to ensure that they are reading the story in full.



Once they have finished the book report and emailed it to me, they get 1 star for every 5 pages that they read. So the book that Hunter is reading right now, when he is done he will get 75 stars. They were pretty excited about that little piece of information.

The next thing that we worked on as a family is the way that we have all been communicating with each other. There was too much arguing, yelling, tattling, sassing, back talking, and unkind words. So we came up with a list of words as a family that should not be said. Below you can see the picture that shows the punishment for violating any of these terms.

The entire family, including mom and dad, have to participate in this Bad Mouth Jar. So far mom and dad have added more money into this jar than anyone else. LOL!

The last thing that we went over were the punishments that need to be handed out for bad behavior. Grounding wasn't working, I don't like to spank unless absolutely called for, taking privileges away only lasted for so long, etc. etc. So we went with something that both the older kids were familiar with and would understand. At school they have to pull colored cards when they misbehave. So we went along those same guidelines. It seems to be working well.

A guideline I was always given is they have to go to time out for 1 minute of every year they are old. So Sadie goes for 10 minutes, Hunter 8 and McKadie 2. It works well. Now we don't do the sitting on a chair because they get too distracted and blah blah blah. So for their amount of given time they have to stand in the corner. When we had our family counsel we showed (I stood in the corner) to show them how to stand when fulfilling your punishment. We did this because in the past they have slouched, turned so they were only halfway in or out, etc. I wanted them to tell us that they understood the proper way to stand in the corner so they couldn't back talk us when the punishment was dealt. You know what it worked well because one of the kids got time out today and stood in the corner like a champ until the timer went off. It was great! No arguing with mom:)

All of this was made in my office using what I had on hand. It doesn't have to be extravagant, just workable.

I am not saying we are perfect parents, heaven forbid we are far from it. In fact I have tried many, many, many different types of projects, chore charts and the like. It just seems that this one seems to suit us wonderfully. Sadie and Hunter are responding to it wonderfully, they even had most of their chores done this morning before we even crawled out of bed. The only thing is that it doesn't do so hot with McKadie, being that she is 2 and all. But we are working with her by using time outs, verbal warning, etc.

If you want me to send you the PDF files for the charts and such just shoot me an email. I used Wordperfect so I don't know if it would be compatible with any other programs, if you wanted it sent as the actual word file.