I am overwhelmed...

This is a long one...you have to admit, it's been a while.
So I am sitting here on my new iMac...thank you for tax returns. First things first...
Happy Valentines Day to one and all. May you have someone to hold you close and tell you how wonderful you are...for me that is my sweet husband. I love him more than I can ever express in words...rare since words overflow from my thoughts and mouth... He is so wonderful for me and the kids, and for some reason when I want to make all of these wonderful posts about him, my mind goes absolutely blank.
I don't know how many of you have followed the Nie Nie dialogues...this girl has a gift for wording things so eloquently and to the point...a talent I lack. The love that she expresses to her husband and the love he gives her is exactly how I feel about Brian and how he treats me. I fell for him the first time I saw him, when I was 14. He was the first guy I ever held hands with.

He has been there through the hardest and the greatest parts of my life. He loves me no matter what spiritual, physical, or emotional challenge I may be facing. I couldn't ask for a greater dad for my children. The other day at the hospital with Hunter, he was getting his IV and I was standing there with him and he was totally freaking out. Brian had been sitting with my mom and brother and before I knew it he was right there consoling Hunter and telling him how proud of him he was and how much he loved him and letting him know it would all be okay. He never ceases to amaze me with our kids. The individual bond he shares with each of them is awe inspiring. He makes me want to be a better mom and wife. He strives to keep the Spirit in our home. We are great at keeping each other balanced and the love we have for one another is unending. I am so grateful for the gift of being sealed to him for time and all eternity. I can't imagine my existence without him. Happy Valentines Bri!!! I love you forever and always...xoxoxoxoxoy!

The other thing I was thinking of as I was reading the Nie Nie dialogues is how much gratitude I have in my heart. Times are really hard right now. On Monday, it will be 2 weeks since Brian was laid off. The only income we have is Brian's unemployment and my photography and my schedule has been so full there is no way I could get a job and still be a mom and wife without going insane. Not only that, but I haven't heard of many jobs that are available and paying more than minimum wage. But even through the hard times I am blessed to have a roof over our heads, power and gas to keep us warm, a car that is still running even though I am not sure how it is still going with all the problems we have had with it. My kids are healthy...for the most part. Hunter doesn't have severe Muscular Dystrophy and whatever he does have, we can handle it. I reassure him of the same thing and then he reminds me when I start to doubt. Our tax returns saved our behinds. Our washing machine and dryer were just about dead...literally. I was waiting for the clutch in the washer to blow and get grease all over our clothes. For the last 4 months I have had it through the spin cycle at least a minimum of 2 times before the clothes were somewhat damp. The dryer had to go through it's cycle twice just to get a small load dry. It has taken me a large amount of time, and I don't want to know how it was effecting our utility bills, but Hallelujah we were able to get a new washer and dryer with the return. I am in laundry heaven. I sat in the laundry room for a half hour earlier today just listening to the washer and dryer go. Needless to say, I have been finding excuses today to do laundry:)(I will post a pic of the pair later).

A good chunk of the return went to my iMac. I have been having problems with my PC, that is 5 years old...'nuff said, and being efficient with my work time on photos and videos. I wasn't able to burn anything...the burner died. Even though I am still learning the nooks and crannies of a Mac I absolutely love it and the opportunities that I have available to me now with my photography. It has also given me more time with Brian and the kids since I am more productive and efficient.

Tomorrow I turn 28, and even though my 30's are just around the corner, I welcome them with open arms. To say it nicely, my 20's pretty much sucked. I was constantly fighting some health issue. Since August, I have been doing awesome. I had lost up to 29 lbs. but haven't been as good as I should have been and have gained 4 lbs again, but never fear, I am back on the weight loss band wagon starting now. I am an emotional eater and since Brian lost his job, let's just say I haven't said no to many of my NO NO foods ie; pop, sugar, carbs...etc... Plus no money makes it super hard to buy the foods I need.

I also want to say that I was grateful for all of my siblings and my parents that came to celebrate my birthday with me today. We did it early because my mom has to be to work by the time we get out of church tomorrow and considering the fact that she gave birth to me, it means a lot to me that she is there to celebrate it with me. There was some commotion and grouchiness going on...it's only a given with that many loud and highly opinionated people, but nevertheless thank you!!! I am blessed with my family, no matter how dysfunctional we are.
The end of my thoughts has come...temporarily I assure you. Please enjoy your loved ones today, and remember to tell them what they mean to you...I hope I have told you!!!